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Thread: Valentines day: careful boys

  1. #41
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    Very sad that the divorce rate is as high as it is.
    One reason is that women can now take care of themselves if necessary. When my Mom was being abused , beaten, stalked etc.. she had no options . 6 kids and no women's shelters etc. No job to support herself as women stayed home and raised the kids back then.

    "Two-thirds of all divorces are initiated by women. One recent study found that many of the reasons for this have to do with the nature of our divorce laws. For example, in most states women have a good chance of receiving custody of their children. Because women more strongly want to keep their children with them, in states where there is a presumption of shared custody with the husband the percentage of women who initiate divorces is much lower. Also, the higher rate of women initiators is probably due to the fact that men are more likely to be "badly behaved." Husbands, for example, are more likely than wives to have problems with drinking, drug abuse, gambling , and infidelity."

    "More likely " meaning NOT only men have those problems.

    We are also living in a post Christian time period. When I got married , divorce was not considered acceptable . You were to work it out . Not so anymore.

    Men initiate divorce less often as they are often the higher earners, and fear the crippling costs of a split , and the likely possibility of not seeing their children as often as they want. Also sad to me that women are more likely to have custody. Usually no reason for that and I feel badly for men in that regard.


    https://www.google.ca/search?sourcei...+more+than+men
    Last edited by Sharon; February 16th, 2015 at 11:03 PM.
    " We are more than our gender, skin color, class, sexuality or age; we are unlimited potential, and can not be defined by one label." quote A. Bartlett


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  3. #42
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    Haha, well in my case while waiting for the surgery to remove my tumor, I came home to the proverbial and literal empty home and dear john letter one day. She's still with her Boss.


    I wish her well, welcome in my home, hope it goes the distance . We're friendly but not friends.
    75% of all are initiated by women. Two ways to look at that
    Last edited by JBen; February 17th, 2015 at 06:17 AM.

  4. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by JBen View Post
    Haha, well in my case while waiting for the surgery to remove my tumor, I came home to the proverbial and literal empty home and dear john letter one day. She's still with her Boss.


    I wish her well, welcome in my home, hope it goes the distance . We're friendly but not friends.
    75% of all are initiated by women. Two ways to look at that
    JBen

    You are a far better man than I!
    How is it one careless cigarette can cause a forest fire, but it takes a whole box of matches to light a campfire?

  5. #44
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    Just my nature Oaknut.
    To each his (or her) own, until and unless you step on my toes.

    Fact of the matter is I'm friends with all 3 of Exes (My ex wife, despite her trashing my last relationship on top of that, and two 3yr relationships). Thats not to say there haven't been harsh words (devil details) with her but you have them, come to understandings, and life moves on.

    Everyone is allowed to, and should be "happy".
    If he makes her happy, thats all that really matters.

    /edit add
    Now "him" oth, he and she know if he ever invades my space it won't go well for him.
    There are some lines men just…..don't….cross.
    Last edited by JBen; February 17th, 2015 at 07:02 AM.

  6. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sharon View Post
    Very sad that the divorce rate is as high as it is.
    One reason is that women can now take care of themselves if necessary. When my Mom was being abused , beaten, stalked etc.. she had no options . 6 kids and no women's shelters etc. No job to support herself as women stayed home and raised the kids back then.

    "Two-thirds of all divorces are initiated by women. One recent study found that many of the reasons for this have to do with the nature of our divorce laws. For example, in most states women have a good chance of receiving custody of their children. Because women more strongly want to keep their children with them, in states where there is a presumption of shared custody with the husband the percentage of women who initiate divorces is much lower. Also, the higher rate of women initiators is probably due to the fact that men are more likely to be "badly behaved." Husbands, for example, are more likely than wives to have problems with drinking, drug abuse, gambling , and infidelity."

    "More likely " meaning NOT only men have those problems.

    We are also living in a post Christian time period. When I got married , divorce was not considered acceptable . You were to work it out . Not so anymore.

    Men initiate divorce less often as they are often the higher earners, and fear the crippling costs of a split , and the likely possibility of not seeing their children as often as they want. Also sad to me that women are more likely to have custody. Usually no reason for that and I feel badly for men in that regard.


    https://www.google.ca/search?sourcei...+more+than+men

    Sorry your mom had to live through that shyte Sharon as no on deserves to be treated in such a way ,and its a good thing we have measures in place to help women in such circumstances. Although tough for your mom I am sure her experience helped make you the strong person you are today.

  7. #46
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    Just one other thing Sharon.

    Imo, the main reason (certainly not the only) for the abysmal rates is because it's become so accepted and so simple. The divorce rate is 50%...now add separations and common law breakups.

    I do believe that "everyone is allowed to be happy, should be happy". however the pendulum has swung too far as it usually does. And while I do feel there are reasons 75% of divorces are initiated by women for reasons and men shoulder a lot of that. By the same token,

    We are also living in a post Christian time period. When I got married , divorce was not considered acceptable . You were to work it out . Not so anymore.
    Men when they hit mid life crises buy toys, women lawyers and they celebrate it these days.
    http://www.bing.com/search?q=burn+th...conversationid=

    Always two or more ways to look at things

    Valentines Day.
    A good reminder to do things together, especially if you have kids and your hitting the "dog days of summer", mid life "doldrums" where careers, family life, responsibilities and more can suck the life out.
    Don't tell me you love me, show me. If it takes a day like VD for either party to remember to say "I love you, appreciate you" and buy gifts or whatever..

    You got problems.
    just my 2c
    Last edited by JBen; February 17th, 2015 at 01:10 PM.

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